CB.NET is proud to present another exclusive interview with a hired gun from CAROLINE BLUE. This month’s victim….uh, subject is Dave Victory-lady killer par excellence from Fulton, N.Y. He has been involved with several local bands with Wayne-including Front Row, Smokin’ Worm and Tastes Like Chicken (Gotta love those names). He has, to date, survived several shows and Wayne’s Monstrous Ego :-D.And now………(trumpets sounding)…..Mr. Dave Victory!
CB.NET-Hello Dave-my name is Satchel and I’ll be doing the interview. My cohorts, Rico and Bucky, might pipe in at various times-but hopefully they won’t. 😀 Hozay would-but he’s sleeping…
CB.NET-So Dave….we finally got you online….kicking and screaming according to Wayne…
DAVE-How did you know about my sex life?
CB.NET-We have our ways young man! So-let’s start with some background. When did you start playing and why?
DAVE-With myself or on the drums?
CB.NET-Drums…we’ll get to the sex later…
DAVE-Started playing at the tender young age of 10. My older brother is also a drummer.
CB.NET-How did you get involved with CAROLINE BLUE?
DAVE-Wayne blackmailed me into playing.
CB.NET-Really? So he DOES have a sadistic side to him…..what did he blackmail you with?
DAVE-He threatened to show old videos of me in spandex.
CB.NET-Ah…gotta love the spandex…how long have you known Wayne? How about Roy?
DAVE-I have known Wayne for about 10 years-since the Front Row project. I have known Roy only a short time and the first time we jammed together was at Club 48. These guys are a lot of fun to work with and they are very talented.
CB.NET-Cool! So…currently, you’re just a hired gun right? Any chance of being a permanent member or is it like Roy said in last month’s interview, down to “Money Talks?”
DAVE-Not much chance of being a permanent member because Wayne is running short of blackmail material. Besides, I don’t want to tie myself down and ruin my reputation (of being tied down)…well actually, I like being tied down, but…in a…well…nevermind!
CB.NET-I’m sure Rico will love hearing about that! (Inside joke). Wayne has described CAROLINE BLUE’s music as being Classic Hard Rock. Do you feel that style is still viable or should the band jump on the Kid Rock/Slipknot band wagon?
DAVE-I think being based in the Fulton NY area, Classic Hard Rock still goes. My personal preference…I pretty much like all music.
CB.NET-How have the shows been so far?
DAVE-I’ll let you know as soon as I’m sober for one….and who is Rico?
CB.NET-One of the “crew” that is totally dedicated to carolineblue.net. He’ll be here momentarily to start transcribing all of this.
DAVE-Tell Rico, “Hola-que pasa?”
CB.NET-Any funny/interesting stories to tell-not just from CAROLINE BLUE, but from other bands you and Wayne were in? Stuff like….
CB.NET(Bucky)-Sorry Dave…what my long winded friend is trying to ask is…is there any “dirt” to uncover? Stuff that will make the readers come back for more (hint, hint)?
DAVE-Yeah-I remember Wayne’s 1st drunken experience on stage. It was the best he ever played, but he doesn’t remember any of it. As far as dirt goes…did you know Wayne has a hole in the back of his guitar? It’s about the size of his nose…
CB.NET (Bucky)-…Wayne’s been drunk on stage??? I can believe the hole in the guitar story cause he grinds those hips so much into it….mmmmm….but him being drunk on stage…are you sure?
DAVE-Maybe it was me that was drunk. Those days were such a blur….
CB.NET (Rico)-Sorry I’m late. I just started transcribing this chat interview and, if I’m reading this right, it says that while Dave was in the Front Row, his Smokin’ Worm Tastes Like Chicken…..
CB.NET (Rico)-By the way, I…I mean, some fans from Georgia want to know, it’s kinda hard to see the crowd from where you’re positioned right?
DAVE-It’s hard to see due to the lights. So, I just picture everybody naked. I learned that from Dale Carnegie.
CB.NET (Rico)-I see…you usually picture everyone naked…and, in fact, there’s usually some guy’s butt in your way…am I correct?
CB.NET (Bucky)-Oh my God….
DAVE-Yeah, that would be Wayne’s butt. I had to stare at his spandex laden butt in the last 3 bands for the last 10 years. I think I’m qualified to be his doctor.
CB.NET (Rico)-Ah ha! So….has this “unique” perspective changed YOU in anyway…Hmmmmmm?????
CB.NET (Satchel)-Ok Rico…it’s back to transcribing for you…
DAVE-Yeah…I’m now convinced that I AM NOT a homosexual!
CB.NET (Rico)-Well…I’m….those fans in Georgia aren’t convinced…
CB.NET (Satchel)-Sorry Dave…Rico…time to go…
DAVE-Georgia is another story…
CB.NET (Rico)-But I didn’t even get a chance to ask Dave if Wayne’s gay…
DAVE-Rico…does it really taste like chicken??
CB.NET (Bucky)-Gods, will you give it up already??!! He’s NOT GAY!!!
CB.NET (Rico)-Maybe he’s a born again heterosexual…
DAVE-As far as Wayne being gay…let me just ask…is the Pope horny?
CB.NET (Rico)-SEE??? I knew it! The truth at last!!
CB.NET (Bucky)-you’re pathetic Rico. If you weren’t so damn good at your job……
DAVE-(Dr.Ruth)-It’s OK Wayne…most men do have homosexual fantasies. You need to be comfortable with your sexuality.
CB.NET (Rico)-And I’ve heard it described as tasting more like beef…but you know all about that right Davey?
CB.NET (Satchel)-Goodbye Rico! Sorry Dave-sometimes he has a one track mind…
DAVE-I wouldn’t know. I’m a vegetarian.
CB.NET (Rico)-I…I mean, our fans demand the truth!!!
CB.NET (Bucky)-GOODBYE RICO!!! Dave, I got a question or 2 for ya…
CB.NET-(Bucky)-We at CB.Net have excellent sources-Rico notwithstanding-and we know you’re involved with someone, but you used to have quite a rep as a lady killer didn’t you?
CB.NET-(Satchel)-Bucky will be here for a little bit while I go find out how Dr. Ruth managed to cut in on our interview 😀
CB.NET-(Bucky)-In other words, he’s off to the john again….
DAVE-yes, but I was cleared of all charges.
CB.NET-(Bucky)-We’ll see…so ,since you’re such a “stud,” you most obviously know the way to a woman’s heart correct?
DAVE-Dirty talk always worked for me.
CB.NET-(Bucky)-Typical male response. You really don’t have a clue do you?….Do you think we’re just pieces of meat? We have MINDS you know…
DAVE-Bucky-are you a dyke?
CB.NET-(Bucky)-Again, typical male….they encounter a strong woman and think she’s a dyke. I’m not a lesbian at all (although there’s nothing wrong with that). In fact,I’m trying to get a hold of Wayne, but he seems to be….distant…
DAVE-Strong? You could crack walnuts with those biceps.
CB.NET-(Bucky)-You bet your as* I can crack walnuts with my biceps!!!
DAVE-I rest my case…..well, sorry chaps, but I have to catch the red eye to Georgia. Nice chattin’ with ya.
CB.NET-(Bucky)-…So you’re implying that, because I’m physically fit-and damn hot if I may say so-I’m a dyke???….Why you….
DAVE-(Dr.Ruth)-Bucky, I think you should make an appointment with my office.
CB.NET-(Satchel)-Man, I can’t ever go take a pisser here can I?…Sorry Dave, just a few more questions ok?
DAVE-You got it. Just glad to be rid of that butch chick.
CB.NET-(Bucky)-You just wait till I see Wayne…I’ll get those spandex pictures of you and plaster them all over this site!!! Gods-spandex….
CB.NET-(Satchel)-Bucky….Go take one of your “happy pills” ok?
CB.NET-(Bucky)-How about I take one of those “happy pills” and shove them up your….
CB.NET-(Satchel)-Alrighty then!! Let’s get some order here…
CB.NET-(Satchel)-What does the future hold for you and CAROLINE BLUE?
DAVE-A couple shows coming up next month I’m told. I don’t like to look too far into the future.
CB.NET-Dave, I have to ask…
CB.NET-Did you guys really used to wear spandex?
DAVE-Actually, it kind of wore us, but there is actual documentation on video.
CB.NET-Also, does Wayne REALLY have a huge ego?
DAVE-Does Mother Theresa wear a chastity belt?
CB.NET-(Bucky)-Dave, all that other crap aside….what kind of woman does he like?
DAVE-Big muscles and little walnuts.
CB.NET-(Sounds of something breaking in the background followed by a door slamming)…(Rico)-Man, you just made a fan for life!
DAVE-What did I say?
CB.NET-(Satchel)-Don’t worry Dave. Bucky’s really not that bad of a person…
DAVE-Like I care.
CB.NET-Anyway, one final question…do you think the band has what it takes to go all the way or does it need more “time in the oven” so to speak?
DAVE-I think any band has a chance with a lot of dedication, a little luck, some hard work, a few good contacts and a big bag of scratch doesn’t hurt either.
DAVE-Moola, pesos, green…..money!
CB.NET-(Rico)-What was that….a BIG BALL SACK???
CB.NET-(Satchel)-Anything you want to say to all the CAROLINE BLUE fans out on the net tonight?
DAVE-Thanks for coming to the shows-couldn’t do it without you. That makes it all worthwhile. I wanna give a shout out to Mimi. Peace out.
CB.NET-That’s about all the time we have Dave. Thanks for the great interview.
CB.NET-Ladies and gents………..(Trumpets Sound)……Dave Victory!!!…………………………………………………………….Who’s playing those bloody trumpets????…………………………………………………….:-D