CB.NET is proud to present another one of its award winning chat-interviews-this time with a man who can be very hard to get a hold of. We’re talking about Scott Coon AKA Da Scooner. Others have tried and failed to get him to reveal his words of wisdom, but WE were not discouraged and our patience paid off. Course, if we knew that all we had to do was offer him a beer….Anyway, sit back and enjoy this long and sometimes revealing interview with…….Da Scooner!!!
CB.NET-Hello Scooner. Satchel here. How are you?
CB.NET-Sdoin’ cool dude! So, give us a little background on ya Scooner. We want to know ya a little better. Also-how did you get that name???
Scooner-Hmmm…it’s a REALLY Long story…but to sum it up in a nutshell, a friend started calling me that about 12 years ago, and it stuck…
CB.NET-Was that friend male or female???
Scooner-Umm…the friend was none other than, local guitar ledgend, Scott Spiess. And the last time I saw him, he was still male…LOL.
Scooner-Although he is built like a skinny woman!
CB.NET-Scott or Wayne?
Scooner-LOL…Scott…..Wayne too for that matter.
CB.NET-We know you were playing w/ CAROLINE BLUE for awhile, then you left, then you reappeared for the show on 1/17/2002. How did that come about?
Scooner-The Man, The Myth, The Ledgend…Mr. Wayne W. Johnson called me in to be a “Stunt” bassist.
CB.NET-A “Stunt” bassist??? What’s that-did Wayne have you step in whenever Roy St. James had to do “Da Wiggle” on stage or something??
Scooner-Yeah, the director would yell “CUT” and I would come on.
CB.NET-So Wayne is like a skinny woman…hmmm…hope Rico didn’t hear that…:-D
Scooner-Does Rico like skinny women?
CB.NET-We don’t know WHAT Rico likes around here-he’ll be in shortly to start transcribing this.
CB.NET-Hopefully he won’t embarrass us again. Bucky too.
Scooner-Wow, did I just say “Groovy?”
CB.NET-Yes you did Boy Howdy!
Scooner-Sorry-had a Partridge Family flashback for a sec.
CB.NET-Just like Roy St. James!!! Incredible!!! So now we know Wayne picks B-Ass Guitarists who are inspired by the Partridge Family…
Scooner-Yeah, that Danny Partridge was an inspiration to us all!!
CB.NET-So what do you think of CAROLINE BLUE?
Scooner-I’m totally down with CB!!!
CB.NET-What was it like working w/ Wayne, Dave and Roy St. James?
Scooner-Ya couldn’t ask for a better bunch of dudes to work with. No attitudes, no bitchin’…just good ol’ American fun!
CB.NET(Rico)-Hiya, hiya, hiya! Guess who’s back in town baby?? Nice ta meet ya Scooner .Got a few questions for ya!
CB.NET(Rico)-1st-when you went to Florida, rumor has it (it was reported on the NEWS page here at CB.NET so you KNOW it’s true) that you went to find out if that really is pulp that’s in the OJ. Is it pulp or is it…something else???
Scooner-Well…my sources have definitely confirmed…it is indeed tiny bits of Real Orange!!!
CB.NET(Rico)-Amazing!! Now, there’s a pic of you and Mr. Victory on the OOPS page. Have you seen it??
Scooner-Yes..yes I have!
CB.NET(Rico)-You guys look AMAZINGLY similar. Tell me, are you guys like…twins…or is there some sort of secret bonding going on here?
CB.NET(Bucky)-Here we go again…
Scooner-Yeah, we went to different schools together while we were growing up.
CB.NET(Rico)-No Scoon…bonding…not boarding…
Scooner-No bonding other than forming a rockin’ backbeat!!! Aww yeah..Let’s hear it for the rytthm section!!!
CB.NET(Rico)-You mean you two were actually…???
Scooner-And if I knew how to spell…that would make sense.
CB.NET(Bucky)-Scooner, you’re married right?
Scooner-As far as you know!
CB.NET(Bucky)-See!! Now will you PLEASE stop with this gay crap Rico??!! He’s married just like Wayne was.
CB.NET(Rico)-So I can’t ask him if Wayne is gay?
CB.NET(Bucky)-He’s NOT gay!!! Why is that so hard for you to understand???
———————-LONG SILENT PAUSE——————————–
CB.NET(Satchel)-Either you just scared him away Rico or he’s off to take a pisser. Way to go Rico!
CB.NET(Rico)-What did I do?? I…I mean,our devoted hardcore fans in Georgia…demand to know everything!
Scooner-Hang on…My connection failed…I have to go back & read what ya typed.
CB.NET(Satchel)-No prob there Scooneroo!
Scooner-Aw yeah…gotta love them Georgians.
CB.NET(Satchel)-You betcha. Our store still hasn’t recovered yet…
Scooner-Ya lost me on that one.
CB.NET(Rico)-You mean if Wayne’s gay…
CB.NET(Bucky)-I knew he’d fit it in there again…
—————LONG SILENT PAUSE II-THE REVENGE————
CB.NET(Satchel)-Still alive and kickin’ Scooner?
Scooner-Yeah, damn this internet thing. So much for roadrunner being fast….So, why ya wanna know if Wayne is gay so bad?? Hmmm…????
CB.NET(Rico)-Well, there’s nothing wrong with that-but if he is, why doesn’t he just come out and be open with it??…..Course, he could just be bi….
Scooner-Are you in Love with Wayne there Rico???…Not that there’s anything wrong with that!! LOL
CB.NET(Rico)-No,that’s Bucky (Hey!!-BUCKY). It’s just with all those hip grindings and other moves, it’s not exactly the most…manly thing right?
Scooner-Now,now…Elvis was the be all-end all of Hip-Grinders!! Was there any question of his heterosexualness?
CB.NET(Rico)-Depended on which church you went to..
Scooner-Ummm…is “heterosexualness” even a word?
CB.NET(Satchel)-It is now Boy Howdy!
Scooner-I’m gonna copyright it…Heterosexualness@
CB.NET(Rico)-Well, what about Roy St. James? I mean, we have on video his “wiggle” thing…and rumors of his fan club for men…
Scooner-Isn’t that Hair Club for Men?
CB.NET(Satchel)-I don’t think Roy has to worry about hair problems there…
Scooner-True true…maybe he’s a donor!
CB.NET(Rico)-Speaking of which, we’ve seen you with very short hair, and then you have a full set of hair in a few months. Give us da skinny on your secret!!!
Scooner-Ancient Chinese Secret!!!
CB.NET(Rico)-But I…I mean, our fans in Georgia need to know!!!
Scooner-I come from a long line of hairy Irishmen.
CB.NET(Rico)-Irish huh? (BUCKY)-Don’t you DARE say anything bad about the Irish Rico-I mean it!!
Scooner-Yup, I’m just about half Irish, and half German…hence my great love for beer. I’m a hairy, beer-lovin, Irish-German-American.
CB.NET(Rico)-Back to Roy…Now, you guys traded places a few times right? Did you ever trade…other things???
Scooner-We tried trading identities once, but his wife knew I wasn’t him right away!!!
CB.NET(Satchel)-Rico, your mom just called. You left your lunch at home again. (Rico)-Oh my God!!!
Scooner-Awww…isn’t that cute…Mommy made your lunch??
CB.NET(BUCKY)-Bye Rico. Now we can have some REAL questions here by someone who’s intelligent…
Scooner-And that would be…?
CB.NET(Bucky)-Give us some “dirt”-some juicy stuff that happened behind the scenes…what people REALLY want to know…
Scooner-Oh man…SO much to tell…
CB.NET(Bucky)-…and…OK, let me help you…
Scooner-Did Wayne ever tell the one about the time we were booked to play in the outback of Australia, and we couldn’t make it because a pack of Hungry Dingos had us surrounded for about 3 hours?
CB.NET(Bucky)-Is Dingo Australian for Sluts?
Scooner-Actually, I think it is!!
CB.NET(Bucky)-Let me guess…you guys spent a lot of time “down under” with them right?
Scooner-So, after the groovy orgy, we made it to the show (3 hours late) and played well into the morning!! 😀
CB.NET(Bucky)-I thought Wayne became “Born Again” after his marriage exploded…
————————LONG PAUSE III-THE RETURN————–
Scooner-Well, see,what no one talks about is the fact that during the whole Dingo thing…Wayne was sitting in the tour bus (read…minivan), polishing off 3 cases of Pepsi One.
CB.NET(Bucky)-Now THAT sounds like the sweet guy I lo…know…
Scooner-Yup,we found him passed out from a NutraSweet overdose.
CB.NET(Bucky)-My Baby!! Was he ok??? (Satchel)-Control yourself Bucky. This isn’t the Love Connection here…
Scooner-Ummm…apparently he was OK, only some minor permanent brain damage.
CB.NET(Bucky)-Shut up! What kind of damage??!
Scooner-Ya see ,NutraSweet attacks the part of the brain that controls voluntary hip movement…
Scooner-What it all boils down to is, the reason Wayne “Hip-Grinds” is because he really can’t control it.
CB.NET(Bucky)-If that’s what it takes for him to grind those hips, I’ll have several boxes waiting at the 6/1 show!!!
CB.NET(Satchel)-Let me ask you a NORMAL question Scooner (Bucky)-Hey!! (Satchel)-…What do you think of the music scene in Upstate NY and how do you think CAROLINE BLUE will do?
CB.NET(Bucky)-Hey!! (Satchel)-Chill out Bucky-go take a happy pill….
Scooner-Well,the music scene here in CNY pretty much Sucks-ass. CB will be a breath of fresh air.
CB.NET(Bucky)-OK-how long have you know the guys Scooner?
Scooner-Wayne I’ve known for a bizillion years, and the other guys just about a year.
CB.NET(Bucky)-So you’ve known Wayne for a long time huh?
Scooner-Yeah-we go way back!
CB.NET(Bucky)-What kind of woman does he like? (Satchel)-Bucky, this isn’t the dating game…(Bucky)-But no one will tell me!!
Scooner-He likes his women breathing for one!!
CB.NET(Satchel)-Well ,at least he doesn’t bang dead people…
Scooner-And…that’s pretty much his only criteria!!….No, no….I kid…
CB.NET(Bucky)-Redhead…blonde…brunette…dumb…smart…give me something to work with!!
Scooner-Yes to the former question.
CB.NET(Satchel)-I think we should just accept that as long as they’re breathing, he likes them Buckaroo…
Scooner-Actually, Wayne has higher standards than most when it comes to choosing a chick!
CB.NET(Bucky)-Now we’re getting somewhere! Like what? I saw what he married and they can’t be THAT high…
Scooner-Well…that was a different story all together
CB.NET(Bucky)-Finally, some dirt!!! Ha,ha,ha…
Scooner-I call that a case of 80s “Metal-Lust.”
Scooner-I dunno…I had to come up with something on the fly. I’m not a psychologist…I just play one on TV.
CB.NET(Bucky)-Wayne needs a psychologist???
Scooner-Only on the 3rd Tuesday of the month.
CB.NET(Satchel)-So THAT’S why the band doesn’t play out that much! (Bucky)-You’re not funny Satch. (Satchel)-Only on TV! 😀
Scooner-Yeah, all the former bookings were on the 3rd Tuesday of the month…so they would have interfered with Wayne’s appointments.
CB.NET(Bucky)-Am I the only person with any brains around here???
Scooner-I’m beginning to think that’s a Big Yes!
CB.NET(Bucky)-See, if everyone just agreed with me (cause I’m NEVER wrong), then everything would be alright.
CB.NET(Satchel)-Glad Rico wasn’t around to hear that one! (Bucky)-Rico can kiss my…
CB.NET(Satchel)-Alrighty then! What does the future hold for da Scooner?
—————–LONG PAUSE IV-A NEW BEGINNING————-
Scooner-I hope to one day be King of the World, as soon as Leonardo DiCaprio gives up his current reign.
CB.NET(Satchel)-Cool beans jack! Anything you’d like to plug…home business…music…psychos…etc…
Scooner-Then I plan on continuing my Jedi Knight training with Master Yoda.
CB.NET(Bucky)-Star Wars is the best movie ever!! Course-Lord of The Rings would’ve been if they’d follow the damn book!!
Scooner-Didn’t see it or read it. The book started boring me at about page 3.
CB.NET(Bucky)-What?! How could you not read the books??? Everyone’s read them!!!
Scooner-A painfully tiresome read.
CB.NET(Satchel)-Oh boy Scooner…now you’ve done it…
CB.NET(Bucky)-WHAT??!!! Tolkien is the greatest author ever!!! Painfully tiresome…that’s just wrong…you’re so wrong…you just didn’t read it properly….!
CB.NET(Bucky)-See, you stopped at page 3. Read the whole thing…you’ll agree with me…How can you not like Tolkien??!!!
Scooner-Maybe someday when I have more than 3 minutes to myself.
CB.NET(Satchel)-Bucky, we’ve had this discussion before…not everyone agrees with you…you can be wrong…
CB.NET(Bucky)-I admit when I’m wrong! You just have to prove me wrong that’s all!!
CB.NET(Satchel)-…sigh…where’s Rico when you need him?…So, you still playin’ bass Scooner?
Scooner-Not at tis very moment. Can’t type AND play. LOL.
Scooner-But to answer your question…I’m actually in the midst of forming my own project where I will be singing and be as far away as possible from any musical instrument.
CB.NET(Satchel)-Cool! How far are ya?
Scooner-About 9 months. Oh…ya meant with the band?
Scooner-Well, I’m talking with a former band mate of mine who wants to get together soon, and see where we can go with an all original thing. Kind of a Marylin Manson / Cheap trick kinda vibe.
CB.NET-Awesome! You keep us informed now-you ARE a CAROLINE BLUE alumni-so we’ll be keepin’ tabs on ya. Maybe we’ll get some more shows out of ya!
Scooner-That would totally be fun!!
CB.NET-Zippy! Anything you’d like to add before we wrap things up?
Scooner-And if Wayne ever throws out a vocal cord…I could be a “stunt” vocalist too…LMAO.
CB.NET-We’ll let him know! Some of those pitches he hits sound a little…’ball straining” so to speak…
Scooner-Ouch…the mere thought can cause “shrinkage.”
CB.NET-Wayne has shrinkage???
Scooner-I meant me. Oh wait…that’s actual size…
CB.NET-Alrighty then! Scooner-on behalf of my cohorts, I want to thank ya for a great interview!
Scooner-Anytime. Good talkin’ to y’all.
CB.NET-Sorry about their behavior. They’re good people really…Hey, what’s the name of your band?
Scooner-Not sure yet…Was thinkin’ maybe something like carolinA Purple, but it didn’t stick!! LOL
CB.NET-When you get it-let us know k? And when you get a site up, let us know and we’ll have Hozay link it to CB.NET.
Scooner-Back Row, or maybe 17 Small Amigos…
CB.NET-carolinA Purple??? Oh…I get it…Ha!
CB.NET-No-just glad Bucky didn’t destroy anything or injure Rico like she usually does with these chat-interviews.
CB.NET-No-she’s just infatuated with Wayne-and doesn’t like it when people disagree wit her…
CB.NET-Exactly! Oh, 1 more thing…
CB.NET-Anything you’d like to say to all the CAROLINE BLUE fans who are online reading this???
Scooner-Hmmm…OK…My safety tip for the day…You can never put too much water in a nuclear reactor!!
CB.NET-…I don’t get it…
Scooner-Nevermind…its an inside joke between myself & me.
CB.NET-Anyway-thanks again Scooner!